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Had a cracking night for my birthday on Saturday. But something… - Big Idea's From A Big Headed Person [entries|archive|friends|userinfo]
Ben

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[Jul. 28th, 2008|01:54 pm]
Ben
Had a cracking night for my birthday on Saturday.

But something about that night is bugging me, and it is bugging me that it is bugging me.

Got some shit to work out.

Good weekend though. Went down to Pompey on Fridya, mainly to pick up the Joker costume Al had for Saturday, but also as I hadn't seen Genge and Al in years.

Was awesome hanging out with them. They are in a very, very samll group of people that I feel completely secure and capable of being myself around. They place no pressure on me to meet any sort of expectations they have, and it means I am free to just have a fucking good time.

Was awesome chatting about uni and shit.

Saturday was 'Drinking Hide and Seek' dressed as heroes and villains. Fairly succesful night, even if the heroes did find us in the very first pub we hid in! Everyone's costume looked awesome. Got fairly battered too. No one, apart from me, remembers going to the afterdark though, which is odd seeing as thats where we spent most of the night.

Not sure I can claim to be more sober than anyone else though, as I was horrible sick when I got home... no one knows this, not even the people staying at my house.

Sunday was just a complete write off. So hungover. The heat didn't help, and the fact that I woke up at 7, and was unable to fall asleep again.

Me Alex and Sam spent all day just lying on beds and sofa's hardly talking, only occasionally piping up to mention how tired or hungover we were.

We did go to the driving range at about 12ish though. Faily amusing banging the shit out of golf balls while hungover. Made the hangover worse though I fear.

Was odd having work mates out with my usual mates on Saturday though, even Sam. They put me on edge. I fear while I am at work I play a character. A character they all expect me to be. The irony being thats 'The Joker.'

Sometimes I jsut can't be assed with it, but if I ever stop playing it, I get people continually asking 'what's wrong, your not yourself.'

Don't think any of them know me well enough to know when I am not being myself. Which is my fault. I hate getting close to people. Really hate it.

As for this thing that's bugging me. Got some serious thinking to do, which I did a lot of on Sunday, and still can't come up with an answer.

And just so you know, I am purposely not mentioning what it is.
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Comments:
[User Picture]From: isie
2008-07-28 02:12 pm (UTC)
Glad you had a great birthday. Do let me know when you're visiting Portsmouth though, I'd like to see you.

You know where I am if you need to talk about this issue that's bugging you xxx
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From: (Anonymous)
2008-07-28 04:13 pm (UTC)
Sorry hun, would have loved to of seen you, but was only down in Pompey for 1 evening, and had to spend that with my 2 best mates from uni.

Thanks for the offer as well, but kinda something I need to work out on my own... listening to too many other peoples advice recently, and need to start listening to my own!

xx
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